Ms. Sato

It was my turn in Spanish class to pick a Spanish name.

“Dolores.”

I wanted that name because there was this really hot Mexican girl in the grade above me and everyone was in love with her including me. Actually, I want to be her so I named myself after her. Because no one ever got anywhere manifesting subtly into the universe.

“Oh nooo. Not Dolores. Do you know what that means mija?”

I glared at Ms. Sato. 

It means who asked for your fucking opinion. Let me name my goddamn self.
 

I just shook my head.

“It means sorrow, pain, anguish. You don’t want to name yourself that.”

I told her I did. I could feel my chin involuntarily jutting out. It’s this weird thing I still do when I feel defensive. It’s super ugly and sometimes I wish my defense mechanisms were cuter—like flashing involuntary peace signs.

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Cocaine, Cucks, and Concubines

“Kat this is Stacy, Stacy, Kat.” 

A pair of enormous tits attached to a petite frame angle towards me. I drag my eyes away from her chest and look up- cake face, blue eyes and pigtails jammed under a Stussy hat. Her nose is perfectly straight, the tip of it turns slightly upwards. I wretch inwardly. 

KAT! ME-OWWWW” she giggles as she reaches out her hand for a limp wrist handshake. I take her hand and crunch it as hard as I can. My teeth clench into a smile as I watch her wince slightly. Serves you the fuck right.

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808s and Karmic Heartbreak

“Did you have sex with her?”

Silence.

I blink and swallow. My relationship isn’t over. Even if he did, it’s whatever. He can fuck her without wanting to date her. 

“But I love her.”

My eyes involuntarily flutter, hot bile swirls in my mouth and my cheeks puff out. I lean over and puke over the side of his bed. Masticated, half digested noodles and beef shreds make pools in the carpet. I smack my lips a few times— putrid pho. 

It’s 4 a.m and I’m at Jordan’s apartment. He’s my boyfriend- was my boyfriend. He’s also in love with Cynthia Lin. 

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The Casual Sex Thingie

I answer the door and crack it open an inch. Just an inch. Because I’m wearing a lacy black lingerie number— stockings, garter belt, red bottom shoes, the whole shebang. And I am so nervous that I feel sick. The kind of sick that you feel when you’re coming up on mushrooms where your whole body is clammy, your eyes are shaking, and you’re sweating out of every gland of your body. Oh wait, that’s ecstasy too. Anyway. It’s the first time I’m doing this whole thing: the whole casual sex thingie. 

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